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THE APOCALYPSE is nigh. The signs are everywhere. If you wished… - Welcome! Worship the Llamas Here! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar

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[Sep. 3rd, 2005|07:45 am]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar
[Tags|, , , , ]
[mood |giddygiddy]
[music |good music]


The signs are everywhere.

If you wished to be saved, it is simple:

Join us. The killer_llamas will take pity on you when The Four Horsemen arrive.

They may however have you build an ark, 153 meters in width, 177 meters in height, and 283 meters in length, made of oak timber, and the planks shall be equal in size.

Then, they may have you paint it neon yellow and spray paint it with the words "Back the Fuck Up, God is on This Goddamn Boat".

Then, they may have you take ALL (because we are not an elitist shrine)of the animals that exist on LJ. Boy, there are alot of them. Take them all, but just not the killer chimp, imgoingtokillyu. Because he'd just kill you.

Then we shall together await for the heavens to pour down mighty, mighty torrents (kind of like it did with Katrina, but not as bad, because the killer_llamas feel very, very sorry for the victims of that awful hurricane) until the whole world is flooded, but evenly, and only by 2 inches, so that everyone who *isn't* in our Ark is forced to splash through  puddles constantly, every day for 40 days and 40 nights, which is really annoying especially when you are wearing white pants and live in New York where the omnipresent puddle is especially dirty.

On the Ark we will have chocolate, beer, and all kinds of liquor, including absinthe, because absinthe is not illegal according to the leaders of the Apocalypse, as it is now unfortunately in America. We will also have loose women, like emilydickinson and anne_bradstreet, as well as loose men like ted__hughes. We will also have lots of poetry, but only the killer_llamas' poetry, because they are our Gods and they are poetic geniuses.

Sound fun? I know it does.

Now please, join us, or you will burn in hell.


[User Picture]From: dylan__thomas
2005-09-05 02:24 am (UTC)
I'm a loose man! Can I come?
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From: erica_jong
2005-09-05 02:25 am (UTC)


You said 'come'

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From: audrelorde
2005-09-05 02:27 am (UTC)
I think you mean "may I come?". You have to ask. I'm fairly certain that you can (unless you are IMPOTENT), but permission is a different matter. Didn't anyone ever teach you to speak English? Idiot.

Now tell me more about these women. Are they hot?
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[User Picture]From: ted__hughes
2005-09-05 06:03 am (UTC)
Yes, they are all supermodels and just happen to also have the genius brains of great poets.

Of course, all genius poets are automatically as beautiful as supermodels, because poetry is sexy. Except anne_bradstreet, who is just average, because no one ever heard of her.

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[User Picture]From: ted__hughes
2005-09-05 05:56 am (UTC)
Yes, Dylan, you may come, but only if you first swear a bloody oath not to hog all the women.

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