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The Sacred Killer LLama Altar

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Message For spamdana [Sep. 2nd, 2007|02:42 pm]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar

killer_llamas
[Current Location |The Llama Pub]
[mood |enragedenraged]

No offense intended here, but we would like to know who you are spamdana? This community hasn't been updated for ages and we are no longer in touch with our good friend Ted Hughes who set it up to worship us in.

However, we do need to know who you are before we can let you into the llamasvpelicans community.

We are cautious by nature and we have nothing to go on other than that you have us listed in your interests.

Naturally, we recommend taking a look at our journal if you are interested in LLamas. We have a very interesting and witty journal. It would probably also be better if you commented back to us in it, as we will get that reply emailed to us, whereas we are not sure if the person who ran this community is still on LJ. Our journal is public.

You may also want to take a look at our community, hotel_llama. That is public too and you can comment to us there and we will receive the comment.

Good day. (ignore the 'enraged' mood, we are permanently enraged).
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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT [Sep. 13th, 2005|08:57 pm]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar
killer_alpacas
[mood |triumphant]
[music |We Hate Maud Gonne - LLama Alpaca Yeats Rappers]

On behalf of the killer_llamas, friendlyalpacas, william_b_yeats and ourselves, we present our new community:

anti_maud_gonne

Thank you.
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Screw This. [Sep. 11th, 2005|06:22 pm]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar

maud_gonne
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |I Hate LLamas]

Maud Gonne here. I would like to formally unmask this community as the silly cult that it is- you have all been bamboozled by the sadistically charismatic manipulations of the killer_llamas into worshipping them. They are false gods and they are mean. I urge you all to unite in common decency and overthrow these false idols.

I have only been on LiveJournal for only a short time and have been disrespected by these furry swine once too many times and I have had it. The killer llamas are stupid and the killer_alpacas  are much better. Well, actually, I don't know that yet because I've never met an alpaca, but I am sure that  that they are beautiful and charming and very polite. At any rate they can't possibly be worse than the llamas.

Please, take an anti-llama leaflet on your way out. Thank you.

 

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(no subject) [Sep. 6th, 2005|07:10 am]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar

maud_gonne
Hi! My name is Maud Gonne and I am new to LiveJournal so I don't know much about it, but I would like to say hi to everyone and I need friends.

I must say this sound like a wonderful idea. I saw some llamas once in a zoo in Paris, and they are pretty creatures and very adorable. Besides, I used to be Catholic, but since I realize the afterlife consists of LiveJournal, and not heaven or hell, I may as well join a llama cult.

BTW, have any of you happened to see Yeats? I can't find him anywhere. I will be X-posting this message until I find the sodden bastard. Usually, it was he always looking for me, but since I don't have any friends now, I am kind of lonely and desperate.
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(no subject) [Sep. 5th, 2005|02:11 am]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar

ted__hughes

Due to several recent threats on my life from annesexton, Quentin Tarantino, and a very disgruntled monkey with a gun, I think it wise to revise my previous Bingo announcement to acommodate Anne Sexton's chain-smoking habit.

There will , I repeat, will , be smoking allowed for annesexton.

But not for anyone else.

(We will also be handing out gas masks and goggles, because annesexton smokes 5 packs of cigarettes an hour.)

Thank you.

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Attention! [Sep. 3rd, 2005|07:49 am]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar
worshipllamas
[mood |awake]
[music |llama chants]

Upcoming Events: We will be playing Bingo this Sunday, Sept. 4 at 2PM in the basement.

We are wheel-chair accessible.

Refreshments will be served, and they will consist of fruit punch and homemade cookies (yum!).

No smoking allowed.

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(no subject) [Sep. 3rd, 2005|07:45 am]
The Sacred Killer LLama Altar
worshipllamas
[Tags|, , , , ]
[mood |giddygiddy]
[music |good music]

THE APOCALYPSE is nigh.

The signs are everywhere.

If you wished to be saved, it is simple:

Join us. The killer_llamas will take pity on you when The Four Horsemen arrive.

They may however have you build an ark, 153 meters in width, 177 meters in height, and 283 meters in length, made of oak timber, and the planks shall be equal in size.

Then, they may have you paint it neon yellow and spray paint it with the words "Back the Fuck Up, God is on This Goddamn Boat".

Then, they may have you take ALL (because we are not an elitist shrine)of the animals that exist on LJ. Boy, there are alot of them. Take them all, but just not the killer chimp, imgoingtokillyu. Because he'd just kill you.

Then we shall together await for the heavens to pour down mighty, mighty torrents (kind of like it did with Katrina, but not as bad, because the killer_llamas feel very, very sorry for the victims of that awful hurricane) until the whole world is flooded, but evenly, and only by 2 inches, so that everyone who *isn't* in our Ark is forced to splash through  puddles constantly, every day for 40 days and 40 nights, which is really annoying especially when you are wearing white pants and live in New York where the omnipresent puddle is especially dirty.

On the Ark we will have chocolate, beer, and all kinds of liquor, including absinthe, because absinthe is not illegal according to the leaders of the Apocalypse, as it is now unfortunately in America. We will also have loose women, like emilydickinson and anne_bradstreet, as well as loose men like ted__hughes. We will also have lots of poetry, but only the killer_llamas' poetry, because they are our Gods and they are poetic geniuses.

Sound fun? I know it does.

Now please, join us, or you will burn in hell.

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